Every fuckin’ night..
Every night I find myself up with thoughts of you on my mind. Knowing that you are at peace. Sleeping without having to worry about a single thing…. How do you do it? How do you tame the memories of our past? Did you forget what we had? Was everything that we had really nothing? I mean… I’m still trying to figure out what is this that keeps bringing me back to you. After all the pain…. the heartbreak…. After spending the last two years of my life struggling to get to you… it hurts. It hurts that everything that I’ve done to be near you means nothing. All of what I’ve done…….is just………. nothing. I left home to be here. I left everything that was important to me behind… My own family…. I’ve neglected them. Aside from coming out here for school, they knew my reason for leaving home and coming to California was for you.. and they didn’t hold me back from what I wanted. And I love them forever for that….because that at least tells me that they love me enough to see me happy…..You know how much you mean to me, and I want you to know everyday that you, have someone in this world that loves you unconditionally…… I might not be as important to you as I once was… or if I ever was.. But you are that someone. You are the person I want in my life…. You’re who I want to be with until my dying days… My forever…. you might think I’m crazy for saying all of this but everything that I’ve said to you is true. Everything that I’ve said and felt… all of that was real. I fought my way to be here. I’ll continue fighting for you. Why? Because I’m in love with you. I can’t let you go. I want to be the one to make you happy. I want to wake up every morning with you by my side. I want to give you the finer things… I want you.. Valencia I want you. I’d take a bullet for you. I’d do anything to be with you. God knows how much you mean to me… and if loving is wrong I don’t want to be right.